I think it is safe to say that I have been having a pity party this week.
I’ve been feeling extremely sorry for myself.
I’ve been looking at myself and lamenting all the things that are wrong with me – my baldness, my obesity, my crappy nails, my crappy feet. You know, that systematic attack us women do on each and every part of our body.
Then two things happened.
I read this post from the beautiful Rachel over at The Chronic Ills of Rach
And I read this post from That Summer Feeling.
I know that this depression thing totally sucks. That there are times when living life on its own fucking terms doesn’t seem to work. I know that looking at myself and systematically denigrating all that I am is just a manifestation of the toxic ball of shit that I feel inside. I know this.
And it is because I know this that when I read those posts I could step outside of myself for just a little bit. It is because of this, I could choose to work on something that wasn’t about me. It is because of this knowledge that I strive each and every single day to live a life that is better than the day before it. It is because of this that I want to BE better. It is because of this that I WILL be better. It is because of this that I don’t want to take the life I have for granted.
How grateful I am to be living in a time and place where I can connect with such incredible beings who live thousands of kilometres away, who inspire me so much.
How grateful I am to be sober, to be working on myself each and every day so that I can be more present for my family, so that I can work towards living my best life.
How grateful I am to live in a time where the quality of wigs are so incredible that no-one knows I am wearing one unless I tell them.
How grateful I am to be able to create, to be able to contribute some goodness to this world, rather than take away from it.
How grateful I am to be alive, right here, right now, in this moment, talking to you, telling you my story.
How grateful I am that you are reading my story.
Today, this Thursday, I am simply grateful.